


Criminals Like Dogs Too

by The_awesome_1



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Dogs, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Ryan does not approve of people who mistreat animals, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5067595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_awesome_1/pseuds/The_awesome_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The crew finds an abandoned dog and Ryan decides to take it home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Criminals Like Dogs Too

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little thing I wrote up while on a road trip. This is my first work for the fandom, so feedback is appreciated. Enjoy!

Putting six high-strung criminals in one car on the way to a remote safe house probably wasn’t the best idea, especially when one of them didn’t know the other five very well, but it was the only one they had since _someone_ (Gavin) had forgotten to arrange a second getaway car for the heist. At least it was a minivan, thanks to Jack, who was used to things like this happening if she wasn’t the one to arrange all the getaway vehicles.

They were currently on a long, empty stretch of desert road outside of Los Santos, and the Lads were starting to get bored, which was not a good thing in any situation. Ray was easy enough to deal with; he just pulled out his DS and was set for the trip. Gavin, however, had decided to engage in his favorite road trip pastime – ridiculous hypothetical questions.

This was annoying enough normally, but considering that his target was one of the most dangerous mercenaries in Los Santos, Michael was already planning how to deal with the inevitable bloodshed.

“Ok, you get…five million dollars, right? But. Every time you want to have sex, you have to wear one of those anime face masks they sold at that one store.”

Oddly enough, Ryan actually seemed to be considering the questions. “How would that work? Do I have to stop and put it on every time, or does it just appear? Is this like an honor system thing?”

“You have to stop and put it on, and it’s just as creepy to your partner as it was to Michael.”

“Hey,” Michael began, but he was interrupted by Ryan leaning forward urgently.

“Stop the car, now!” He snapped, already unbuckling his seatbelt.

Jack slammed the breaks reflexively, sending them skidding to a stop. “What’s wrong?” She demanded.

Ryan was up and out of the car before she’d finished speaking, bounding down the side of the road back the way they’d come. The others followed a little more slowly, reaching for their guns. They found Ryan crouched in front of a skinny, mangy-looking dog, making soothing noises as he beckoned it closer. His mask was on the ground next to him, revealing smudged face paint.

“Ryan, what the hell are you doing?” Geoff asked.

“Look at him, he’s skin and bones! He hasn’t even got a collar. If I found the people who dumped him here…” He trailed off menacingly in the same tone of voice that made hardened criminals throughout Los Santos drop their guns and run when it was directed at them. Michael almost felt bad for the people who left the dog here. The feeling faded when he looked at the dog, which was cautiously nuzzling Ryan’s hand.

The poor thing was painfully skinny, with dark, dirty fur and pale blue eyes. He was about the size of a large Labrador; his head came up to Ryan’s shoulders when he knelt on the ground. Continuing to make soft shushing noises, Ryan carefully picked him up and held him to his chest.

Geoff sighed in exasperation, having already seen where this was going. “Just put it in the van. Whatever you do with it when we get back is your business.”

Ryan beamed like a kid who had just received a puppy for Christmas. “Thanks, boss.” He climbed into the van and placed the dog on the backseat, between himself and Gavin’s seat. The rest of the crew followed him in. The dog seemed pretty calm; he placed his head on Ryan’s knees and appeared to go right to sleep.

Jack shook her head. “ _That’s_ what you had me stop the car for?”

Ryan shrugged. He hadn’t bothered to replace his mask, but his blank features weren’t much more helpful in figuring out his thoughts. “I couldn’t just leave him there. I may be a criminal, but I have standards.”

**

When they finally reached their safe house, a small farmhouse a little ways from the road, Ryan immediately took the dog up to the bathroom to wash him. Almost an hour later they reappeared and Michael had to admit that it was a pretty nice looking dog once it was clean. He had soft black fur with white patches, and his tail wagged excitedly as he explored the kitchen. Ryan had changed out of his heist clothes, and was bustling around the kitchen finding a bowl for the dog to eat out of and measuring out the food they’d stopped for on the way to the house.

“Are you going to name him?” Michael asked.

Ryan looked at the dog thoughtfully. “I am, but I don’t know what to call him.”

“Call him Edgar,” Ray joked. He was sitting at the table next to Michael, eating a bowl of cereal.

Ryan started to shake his head, and then paused, considering it. “Sure, why not? Edgar the dog.” He patted Edgar’s head gently. “How about it, Edgar?”

Edgar wagged his tail cheerfully, and Ryan smiled. “I think he likes it.”


End file.
